July 24, 2020
Tabitha: Hey Andrew... still have availability for October?
Andrew Thomas Clifton: I don't but I do for September and November.
Tabitha: I have a feeling you're gonna be free in October. Keep me in mind if you do.
Andrew Thomas Clifton: September 5, 3-4pm just opened up.
Tabitha: Lol you don't believe we're shooting in October.
Andrew Thomas Clifton: I didn't say that. You have no idea how busy my October is right now with these films.
Tabitha: I believe you. I know you're booked and busy.
July 28, 2020
Andrew Thomas Clifton: October 11 from 4-6pm just opened up.
Tabitha: 😏 I got the deposit tomorrow.
Andrew Thomas Clifton: I'll have the invoice tomorrow. You willed this sh*t into existence.
Tabitha: I'm Magic ✨
Tabitha: *see text on wall of picture*
Production Saturday Nights
About 2 years ago I had the idea of doing a personal "boudoir" (for lack of a better word) photoshoot. I tend to be attracted and drawn to raw authenticity and natural beauty - in art and in my life. Through my #BodyConfident journey in the past few years, I was gradually becoming infatuated with the woman I saw in the mirror. The raw reality of me after all I've been through. And honestly... I was impressed.
This "Body Confidence Peak" moment wasn't a feeling I was always familiar with. From being 267lbs in 2011 at my undergraduate graudation, to now being proud of the hard work and dedication I put into body and - I couldn't help but want honor me.
After a breakup in January 2019, I was given the opportunity to explore Tabitha again. Back to the core of what I was passionate about in all areas of my life. And so the creation of "Production Saturday Nights" was birthed in full effect. Honoring myself each and every Saturday night, dressed in lingerie I put the camera on to the most valuable and ride-or-die person in my life - myself.
Dancing, singing, and making videos for no intended audience, it was my therapy. Never had I taken such dedicated time to dissect the nuances of me. I discovered angles, curves, and most importantly full acceptance and love for myself. This type of body confidence couldn't be outsourced externally. My friends encouraged my Saturday night shenanigans after sharing this secret with them.
Andrew Thomas Clifton
"Girl you look GOODT! You should submit that picture to Savage Fenty!"
One of my closest girlfriends sent that response to a I sent her of me wearing a new Savage Fenty bralette I recently purchased. Lord knows I got some good friends. The response I received from my support system helped me to realize just how far I had come in my journey. I tend to have a bad habit of always feeling that there's more to be done - I guess that's the natural drive in me. So even when it came to the way my body looked now in 2019, I hadn't even realized the fruits of the work I put it. Pure dedication to self and becoming a better version of me had been the underlying theme in my life.
I knew I needed to celebrate myself and didn't quite know where to start.
I guess subconsciously I had been searching for a photographer, because one day I came across Mr. Clifton's photography page on Instagram and fell in love. He shot women, mostly Black women, in their fully beauty and authenticity. Rolls, dimples, hyperpigmentation, large hips, big breasts all shot and presented in such a Godly light. Black women were revered there and celebrated for their differential beauty. He had an eye so different than the images of Black women I grew up seeing on America's Next Top Model and in marketing campaigns. Who was this guy? And his 30k+ followers actually liked the real version of women?
I needed him to shoot me. I needed him to shoot one of my "Production Saturday Nights" as an ode to this body that had sustained me throughout surgeries, changes, and self-hate. So I reached out to Andrew and the rest was history. October 11th was the date.
And as Andrew so rightly said in our messages "I willed this sh*t into existence."
Photoshoot Prep
Y'all this was my first real photoshoot and to say the least I didn't know how to prepare. My sister put me in contact with an Australian supermodel to give me tips to help me prepare. Although her tips were similar in how I decided to approach the shoot, I confirmed in myself that God provided this opportunity for me because I was ready for it.
The weeks leading up to the shoot were actually hectic with balancing work, school, and life. I honestly did not have a set workout schedule or diet regimen like I typically would to prepare for my first shoot. You know how we do ladies. Just like how we prep for vacation - workout/diet regimen on savage for at least 6 weeks prior to going on vacation. Because of my schedule and life, that wasn't possible.
So I decided to accept that I wouldn't be at my personal skinniest or peak curves for the photoshoot. And that was OKAY for me. It took off tons of the pressure leading up to October 11th.
October 11, 2020
The day arrives! How did I prep?
Vajacial (facial for your lady purse)
A few "production nights" to tap into my sensuality
Nails
Yep... that's it. Doesn't seem like much right? But it's true. Sometimes we have to realize that all we need in life is just US - nothing extra or nothing additional.
Now I cannot lie, I was slightly nervous.Production Saturday Nights came to my rescue because as soon as Andrew's camera turned on, mentally I took myself back to those nights when I feel most feminine. Divinely feminine. And I flourished.
Experience some of the visuals below.
